Back to Work

For all of you mother's out there who work full time, take care of your family, and do everything else that women are "expected" to do, KUDOS to you!

I just returned back to work this week, and it is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. After being able to spend almost 6 whole months with Gavin, it was so hard having to walk out the door on August the 18th to go back to work. I cried the entire way to work, just thinking about how I would not be able to watch my baby play, sleep, eat, and smile on a daily basis. I thought about everything that I might miss for the first time. I thought about how he may forget who I am, because I am not spending the majority of his time with him. I thought about a lot of things on that short 8 minute ride to work that morning.....

Then, the next morning I thought about what I could do from home to make money, so I could stay at home with my baby. I am sure every woman does this.

The third day, I thought about how lucky we are to have family in town to stay at home with Gavin, in his own environment. He has his Aunt Amy and Grandma Ryan who stay with him. He is able to sleep in his own crib, play with his own toys, and get one on one attention from people that love him. Please don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with daycare, Gavin would be there if we did not have family willing to help us out, we just got lucky in that department. I also thought about how lucky I was to be able to stay home for the amount of time I did, 6 months is a long time!

The fourth day, and final day of my first week, was pretty hard actually. I came home for lunch, which I usually will not be able to do, and it was Gavin's nap time. I told my mother that I would get him down. When I tried, he cried for 15 minutes, I was not sure what was going on. My mother came up, and took over, and he went to sleep with no problem. This was very hard for me... I thought...Is he mad at me? Does he now want to be with them more than me? Alot of different things were running through my head. When I returned to work I spoke with a couple of friends of mine who are also working mothers, and they said the same thing happened to them, and that he is just getting used to the situation.

All in all, pretty tough week, but we will get through it. It is part of life, and many women and men do it every day. We need to provide for our children, and we do everything we do for them. I just think about it this way, now, whenwe are home with him, the time we spend with him will be even more cherished.

Gavin, I want to leave you with one last thing. When your father and I walk out that door each morning, we are doing it for you. We want to provide the best possible life we can for you. We think about you all day, and count down the minutes until we are able to come back home and spend time with you. If we come home and had a bad day at work, we now know that we have you at home to cheer us up, we did not have that before. Returning to work is not the worst thing that could ever have happened, because we have the best thing that ever happened to us waiting for us when we get home. We love you very much!!!!

Love,
Mommy and Daddy